I recently served as a mediator for a contested divorce case. Each side was well represented and prepared. But it still was a difficult situation. While the details of the case including whether it or did or did not settle are confidential, I am confident the process was beneficial. I enjoy serving as a mediator and do it three or four times each year. As an advocate, when representing someone going through a divorce or family law matter, I am probably involved in ten or twelve additional mediations per year.
After a full day of mediation, parties often realize that failure to reach resolution only ensures more attorneys fees, more stress and delayed closure. Spending time together, even if separated during the day, allows the professionals and the parties to focus on resolution. Smaller areas of disagreement succumb to discussion of the larger issues. Having a neutral third party (mediator) often helps refocus everyone on total resolution which often means foregoing minor goals.
Family Law mediation and resolution is a complicated process. Rarely does anyone get all they want. But if the goal is closure, finality, cessation of fees and hostility, it can be accomplished. Why, because those goals are worthy of significant concession on lesser matters.
There will always be cases where settlement is impossible, but as a lawyer and mediator, if everyone has really given settlement a good try, litigating the case is much easier on the conscience. Litigating without giving your best to get it resolved short of trial is, in my opinion, a shame. But once all efforts at settlement have been exhausted, then we are of course left with the remaining alternative of presenting the strongest case we can to the court. A well presented case can achieve good results, but if if we can achieve those results via settlement, even better (and usually less expensive) for our clients.