Vegas ABA Family Law Seminar info now available on your phone

The upcoming ABA Family Law Seminar has already generated a tremendous response. The advance registration numbers are great with more people registering each day.

And now, more good news. The entire program schedule and related information (presentation titles, times and locations for instance) can be downloaded right to your cell phone, in advance.

You can access the mobile website in one of three ways:

1. Text FLS to 99699, then click the link in the text message reply you receive.
2. Scan the QR code which will be available at the seminar, with your smartphone to be taken directly to the website.
3. Enter the following URL in your browser: https://mobilezen.com/FLS

Once you do this from your smartphone, you can then add the site to your phone’s home page and access it at anytime (like when you need to know where the next presentation is).

I am really excited that we are bringing this technology to our program and grateful to Mobilezen for setting it up for us.

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Braves, Red Sox Collapse. Is there a lesson?

Where’s the silver lining? Maybe that in life, you should never give up? I think so. That’s the optimist in me. As a divorce lawyer, every day I see people who feel their life is collapsing. Baseball is, in the end, just a game. But what did we learn?

The Braves and the Sox, both leaders in the wild card playoff race for the last month, each faltered in ninth inning of the last game of the season. They each only needed to finish off the ninth with the lead of 3-2 they had going into it. Too weird and too sad. But this is, unfortunately a year to remember (since it will be impossible to forget).

But just as in life, there is always next year. In fact, growing up a New Orleans Saints fan, we usually came to understand this after the first few games of every season. And look what happened! It took 47 years, but we won the Superbowl. Time heals all wounds and for Red Sox and Braves’ fans, this too shall pass.

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Young lawyers rest assured, there is work for you.

Today a young lawyer met with me to ask for help starting her own law firm. While I still consider myself a “start-up” and love to learn about business, it reminded me of some things I think are true (and which I told her). Some of these thoughts include the fact that people need lawyers; they really need lawyers. While the public may not think highly of lawyers, opinions often change (for the better) when a lawyer is hired and the client sees a good lawyer at work. But most importantly, as I said to the young lawyer, is that it can be done. A law practice can be built and can flourish, with nothing more than hard work and a dedication to integrity. It may take time, but lawyers’ reputations are their most valuable commodity and reputations are not gained overnight.

And the most important thing that I think a young lawyer can do to help themselves? Ask questions. Ask those who have established a practice and most importantly, those you respect. Good lawyers want to help. Not only their clients, but the bar in general (since that will trickle down and hopefully help all clients). I hope I was able to help her, but I know she will be fine, if for no other reason than because she had, and has the initiative to ask the right questions and to succeed.

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Book Arrives

Even though I knew this day would come, it was still exciting to actually see our “Georgia Library of Family Law Forms” arrive. They actually had me do a formal “signing” (see photo). Finally seeing the finished product was so nice. But it also means now that everyone can read it, I have to be sure we update it and keep it current. There are already suggestions for updates that I have started on.

If you search for a family law form and it is not in the book, please let me know so we can consider including it, if appropriate for the book, in the updates (to order your copy, click here). I remain grateful to the attorneys and law clerks in our office and the publisher and their editors and staff who have helped so much to make this book a reality.

I hope you enjoy it and I look forward to your feedback.

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ABA FLS Brochure available now

The American Bar Association, Family Law Section’s Fall CLE Brochure is out and available on line (click here to view it). The seminar will be held in Law Vegas at the Encore (Wynn) Hotel October 26-29, 2011.

We have worked hard to develop an exciting and educational program. Topics include: “Saving a Stolen Childhood: How to Prevent and Resolve International Kidnapping Cases,” and “Diminishing Returns: Effects of Illness, Psychological Problems, and Addiction on Support Calculations”.

The speakers and program producers have worked very hard to organize and create this exciting program and we hope you will join us. Please pull up the brochure, sign up and join us. Again, click here for the brochure: BROCHURE.

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Posted in alimony, American Bar Association, assisted reproductive technology, Assited Reproductive Technology, Attorney, Custody, Divorce, Family, Family Law, Lawyer, Legal, same sex marriage, Visitation 1 Comment
 

Custody ruling against woman with cancer

I have recently been asked to appear on Headline News to discuss family law cases. One recent one is the woman who has cancer and lost a custody hearing (click here for a link to the video).

It seems like it was a really difficult case, but like all child custody cases, this one must have been, and likely was reviewed by the judge with the focus being “What is in the best interests of the children”. Like any case, it is easy to second guess. But the factors the judge likely focused on were those that affected the children and what would give them the best shot at good, stable futures. We must resist the temptation to judge the headlines and hope that if we ever need a judge to help determine our disputes, the judge will listen to all the evidence and do what is right, especially in the case of children. We can never know, but let’s hope this judge made the right decision and these children and this woman heals (and that the whole family heals).

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Forensic Accounting in Family Law

I have been learning a lot about Forensic Accounting in Family Law lately. I have been to three or four seminars in the last few months across the country for accountants and business valuation experts. Boy is there a lot to learn. So perhaps the best tool is the one I received in the mail today from my friend Miles Mason. It is his brand new book “The Forensic Accounting Deskbook, A Practical Guide to Financial Investigation and Analysis for Family Lawyers” (read more about it, or order it, by clicking here).

Miles has a way of making complicated and complex ideas easy to understand. When we as divorce lawyers are confronted with numbers and tax issues and valuation concepts which may be foreign to us, we can now simply refer to this handbook. Of course I will almost always hire a forensic accountant as well, but knowing the jargon and the concepts is vital to understanding the issues and helping our clients.

I highly recommend this guidebook.

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Do you need a prenuptial agreement?

While prenuptial agreements aren’t for everyone, they are an absolute necessity for some people.  I cannot tell you how often I have someone sitting in my office surmising “I wish we had signed a prenup.”

As you may or may not know, prenuptial or antenuptial agreements, colloquially referred to as prenups, are generally contracts entered by parties prior to their marriage (or civil union in some states).  The substance of prenuptial agreements can vary, but typically they address the divorce issues of property division, property rights, liabilities, debts, and alimony.  A properly drafted prenuptial agreement should address the commingling of separate and joint property.  (Note, prenuptial agreements cannot address custody and child support, because the best interests of the children controls at the time of divorce.)

But how do you know if you need a prenup?  While I encourage you to discuss this question in confidence with a lawyer trained in this intricate area of family law, I think the following checklist of questions will help guide you in determining if you should have that discussion with an attorney.  If you or your future spouse answers “yes” to any of the following, a prenup might be appropriate for you:

- Do either of you consider yourself high net worth individuals?
- Do either of you have significant stock holdings, stock options, profit sharing, bonds, other investments, or cash?
-Do either of you own any real estate (including investment / rental property)?
-Are either of you a business owner?
-Do either of you currently earn more than $100,000.00 per year?
-Is there a disparate difference between your income / assets and those of your future spouse?
-Do you want your estate (or a part of it) to go to your children (and/or children of a former marriage) instead of your spouse?
-Do either of you have professional licenses or degrees?
-Do either of you have significant family wealth or expected future inheritance?

While this checklist is not intended as an all-inclusive list, it is one that should at least start the conversation with yourself (and perhaps your future spouse), about whether a prenup is appropriate.  Again, I encourage you to speak with an attorney who specializes in this area of law if it is something that you are considering or are on the fence as to whether or not a prenup is right for you.

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Forms book to be delivered any day

I am getting excited. The forms’ book “Georgia Library of Family Law Forms” which we have been working on for about a year is about to be delivered. The truck should arrive within a week or two and the first printed copies will then be available (for more details, or to order, click here).

The book is a great place to start if you are building your own set of family law forms or if you just want a resource “just in case”. It forced us to review all of our forms and to create new ones. If you do purchase the book and wish there was a form there which is not, please let me know and I will see what I can do. But it is fairly comprehensive for a first edition and I am very proud of it. Working with the publisher, editor and all of the staff (theirs and ours) has truly been a pleasure as we have all been dedicated to producing a high quality product. It is almost here and I am really looking forward to seeing it, and to hearing your feedback. Please don’t be shy and let me know your thoughts once it is out.

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New DNA Testing Claims Paternity Can Be Determined ASAP

For years DNA testing could reveal the paternity of a child after birth. Then came pre-birth testing. Now comes DNA testing in the twelfth week of pregnancy. This is a game changer. Read the story by clicking here.

Conceivably now, a couple could learn the paternity of their child in the first trimester of pregnancy, when termination of the pregnancy is legal in most places. Just think of the issues this raises. If the pregnancy is the result of an extra marital, or extra relational encounter, does this make it more likely that a pregnancy will be terminated? What if technology and science progress to the point where paternity can be established “the morning after” or at one month of pregnancy?

And perhaps the ability to know who the father is, so early on, will encourage more mothers-to-be to tell their partner that there may be doubt about the paternity of their expected child. Or at least the mother-to-be could get a test with her paramour and hopefully exclude him as the father early on, thereby perhaps saving her relationship with her husband or significant other?

This new technology, if accurate, could change many lives and many relationships. Some say ignorance is bliss. This may be one such occasion?

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ABA meeting informative and rewarding

The Annual American Bar Association meeting, held this year in Toronto, has been quite interesting.  I have gone to meetings for all sorts of committees (Commission on Youth at Risk, and many others) and seminars on all sorts of topics (including gay marriage and the future of marriage and family law).  At a committee breakfast, I learned of a social media initiative to educate parents on how their children may perceive their parents or other’s views on homosexuality.  They have created a video that may go viral (thekidsarelistening.org).

There are also programs on line to help lawyers learn how to represent children including how to interview children located on the website of the Litigation Section of the ABA. This was done by the Litigation Section’s Children’s Rights committee.   

But most importantly, as always, is the camaraderie. Seeing local metropolitan Atlanta judges and lawyers as well as family law attorneys and judges from across the country is very enjoyable for me. We are all here to learn and help and the amount of energy that lawyers are putting into improving our society and our communities is evident.  Lawyers and others rising early and going to working meetings at 7:00 am on a Sunday to address the needs of foster children and child trafficking is really heartwarming.  

I am glad to be an active lawyer and part of something bigger.  Even though the ABA may support various ideas that often generate much discussion and disagreement, it is a peaceful way to effectuate change, and a most valuable endeavor.  

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ABA Annual Meeting special one for me

The 2011 American Bar Association Annual meeting which begins this week in Toronto (click here for a link to the home page for the meeting), holds special meaning for me. On Friday August 5, 2011 I will be sworn in as Chair of the Family Law Section (FLS) of the ABA. I am so honored and excited. The FLS has 10,000 members who are all interested in the practice of family law, whether they are lawyers, judges or law students (over 9,000 are lawyers). Our goal, and mine, is to improve the practice of family law and to minimize the negative impact family law can have on families. My platform will be a continuation of our “Families Matter” project which has the reduction of such an impact on families as its goal.

Practicing family law has been gratifying, knowing that we can and have helped many families. It also can and has been frustrating. When bad results happen to good people, especially to children, it can be devastating. But our job is not to be devastated and depressed, but to persevere and find better solutions. Through the ABA we are working to improve the system and to hopefully help all families achieve better results that are better for the whole family. Of course this is a difficult task, but it is one that any civilized society must undertake. All family law professionals (lawyers, judges, psychologists, accountants and others) play a role. Is our system perfect? No way. In fact, our systems vary from state to state and from community to community. But we are evolving. Today, family law is not an area of the law that is looked down upon. To the contrary, it is an area of the law viewed by many as one of the most important areas of law that exist. What other area has the ability to affect families and futures as much as ours? And with that comes a significant burden, a burden to help families and a burden to improve society.

I am glad to be in a position to help families. In my practice I often have that opportunity, and as Chair of the Family Law Section of the ABA, I have been given an even greater opportunity. I will try my best not to squander it and to do what I can to help families and professionals who are helping those families. If there is anything I can do, I hope you will call on me to serve you. It will be an honor to serve and I am sure, an experience I will never forget.

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Gay Marriage Issues are everywhere, not just NY

I blogged a few days ago about President Obama’s decision to support the repeal of DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) which is the federal law defining marriage as between a man and a woman and stating that states need not respect marriages performed in other states which are between members of the same sex. Now gay marriage is again in the news as New York has passed a law allowing it and this week the first gay marriages in New York have taken place. The local public radio station interviewed me about it and got me thinking (the interview can be heard by clicking here). The expansion of gay marriage to New York increases the likelihood that other states such as Georgia will encounter these issues. There will be gay couples who divorce in New York, legally, and then move to Georgia. Then the dilemma for Georgia courts will be how to treat such valid orders from other states. Under DOMA, Georgia would not have to recognize such an order based on a gay marriage. But if DOMA is overturned by the new “Respect for Marriage” act, then would Georgia be violating the full faith and credit clause of the U.S. Constitution if it did not recognize and enforce a valid “gay divorce”? These are interesting questions and I continue to look forward to them unfolding and how our judiciary and bar work to resolve these issues. The solutions are not easy and the process has obstacles, but our civilized society has handled and overcome much tougher issues. I am confident this one will be resolved with time as well.

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OBAMA to oppose DOMA/Thoughts on Same Sex Divorce

For years the White House has vowed to support the Defense of Marriage Act, and this week President Obama changed course (click here for NY Times article). DOMA (the Defense of Marriage Act) was signed into law fifteen years ago by then President Bill Clinton. It basically is the federal government stepping into family law (which seems to be the trend) and determining, on a federal level, that marriage can only be between a man and a woman and that states do not have to recognize (give full faith and credit) to a marriage between members of the same sex even if the state where they were married allows them to do so legally-see Wikipedia definition of DOMA by clicking here. Most legal scholars (and some state courts) find the law unconstitutional.

But now President Obama has announced that he will support the repeal of this law. This does not mean states have to allow same sex marriage, but it does remove a large obstacle for gay marriage proponents. The legislation President Obama now supports still has yet to pass, but this is a big first step.

Regardless of whether people feel gay marriage should be allowed or not, I think I am a proponent of allowing gay divorce. Not because it generates more business for divorce lawyers; in fact, it will create less business because the process of separating gay couples and dividing their assets and working out visitation arrangements for their children would then be simpler and much less costly. Rather the reason to support allowing gay couples to divorce is that it gives law abiding adults a method to resolve disputes that will arise whether there is gay marriage or not. Throughout time there have been same sex relationships. The real question for me is how we, as an advanced civilization, handle the legal aspects of a separation. If we ignore it and put our heads in the sand, that helps no one. The problems remain, people engage in self help and take what they want, including children and the result is chaos.

I am not sure what the future holds, but it seems that a legal process, whether it is allowing same-sex divorce or whether we term it something else would be a positive step for our society and most importantly for the children of same sex couples.

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Celeb Divorce, now J-Lo and Marc Anthony

Our country seems fascinated with the family lives, especially divorces of celebrities. Perhaps that is because we see celebrities as role models or who we often aspire to be. Thus it is interesting to see how famous people act, or react in situations that many of us non-celebrities also face.

The Lopez/Anthony divorce just happens to be the most current celebritiy divorce. What is interesting to me is only that it is so interesting to everyone else. All major news organizations reported on it immediately, even though there was really nothing to report. Perhaps it is that we romanticize our celebrities. We want their marriages to work since they are who we aspire to be?

Celebrities have many issues the average person will never have to face (crazy visitation schedules, nanny issues and significant asset division and/or support payments). But ultimately, celebrities are like anyone else. They get their feelings hurt, they have pride and they sometimes feel a need to “win” almost as if that is an achievement. But most often, they ultimately realize that it is best to put the legal process behind them and to resolve matters. Using lawyers to do their communicating often has its limits and almost always, celebrities figure out what they want to do and then tell their lawyers to “make it so”. They are used to controlling their own destiny and often more confident than the average person in their own decisions. After all, their own decisions got them where they are.

There are also many celebrities who meet with us (divorce lawyers) and never file anything. When they finally do make the decision to seek a divorce, they usually know what they want and are ready to make a deal. It would not surprise me if Jennifer Lopez and Mark Anthony, like many other famous couples, had already investigated the process for a very long time and had a good idea of what the outcome should and would be long before one or both of them made the decision to end the marriage.

And the way they handled it is the way it should be done. A joint statement like they have done letting the world know they are mature enough to handle it privately for the sake of their children is wonderful.

When two wealthy people fight, judges often are more upset. Every day in Family Court, judges see regular people scraping to survive and raise their children every day. It seems Ms. Lopez and Mr. Anthony recognized this and it is admirable that they have resolved matters outside of court. That is how it should always be done, in my opinion and I hope others will follow their example, if they decide to divorce.

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ABA Family Law Section CLE set for October in Vegas

While we all look forward to the Annual ABA meeting in Toronto next month, plans have been underway for a while for the Fall Family Law Seminar.

I hope everyone is as excited as I am about the Fall Program which is being held at the Encore (Wynne) Hotel in Las Vegas in October. We have a tremendous line up of topics, including: “Saving a Stolen Childhood: How to Prevent and Resolve International Kidnapping Cases”, “Diminishing Returns: Effects of Illness, Psychological Problems & Addiction on Support Calculations” and “Tax Issues Faced by Alternative Families… A Mystery of Clues!” as well as fun topics like “Mission Impossible — Obtaining Discovery from Casinos”.

The location is amazing; the nicest hotel in Vegas, at an incredibly low rate ($204.00/night). Come join us and bring your family too. It will be a great seminar and a great place to meet fellow family law attorneys. And if there is anything I can do for you, before, during or after the program, please let me know. I look forward to seeing you there.

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Posted in American Bar Association, Assited Reproductive Technology, Attorney, Child custody, Custody, Divorce, Family, Family Court, Family Law, Gay Adoption, gay marriage, High Profile Cases, Judge, Lawyer, Legal, Misc, Prenuptial agreement, same sex marriage, support, Visitation Leave a comment
 

GA Supreme Court makes “Pilot Project” for Discretionary Appeals more permanent

The Georgia Supreme Court of Georgia has just changed it’s “pilot project” rule regarding discretionary appeals for domestic relations cases. This process, which has been a “pilot project” for about ten years, is now more formalized. To view the Court’s Order, click here..

The Family Law Review issued a bulletin which summarizes it well (which can be accessed by clicking here). Take a look, and those of you who practice law in Georgia, please review it carefully. Most importantly, let’s be sure we do not abuse this wonderful opportunity the Supreme Court has given us to help clients in need, those who have a meritorious basis for appealing. The court has entrusted us with discretion to not overwhelm the Court with non-meritorious appeals. Let’s oblige.

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NACVA seminar

Today I leave San Diego after five days participating in and observing how business valuation experts learn the ins and outs of litigation. There were over 700 attendees at what is known as NACVA and the IBA’s Annual Consultants’ Conference. On the first day I presented on hot topics in family law. But it is what I did on the final day, Saturday, that was the most educational for me. I played the role of judge in a mock trial played out before over 200 attendees and then participated in a panel discussion, AFTER we got to observe, via closed circuit tv, the jury deliberations. What a learning experience. The perspective of being the judge and then vicariously participating in jury deliberations was extraordinary. It helped me recognize how crucial each piece of evidence is, particularly the testimony of experts.

When I am not the lawyer in the case, like during this exercise, I am able to get a clearer picture of the entire environment. This type of exercise, very similar to the ones we do at the American Bar Association, Family Law Section’s Trial Advocacy Institute can be invaluable for a practicing trial lawyer. I was lucky enough to be invited to help teach, but I actually learned much, much more than I taught.

Thank you to NACVA (National Association of Certified Valuation Analysts). I hope trial lawyers and expert witnesses can keep learning together. We certainly help make each other better.

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Do children of divorce suffer poorer grades?

National TV Network news agencies are working on stories based on reports that children of divorce fare worse in school than others. USA Today just printed a story about poorer math scores for children of divorce (click here for the link).

As a divorce lawyer this concerns me greatly. My opinion, based purely on my experience and the experience of the other lawyers in our office and friends throughout the bar, is that it is not necessarily the divorce that can harm children, as much as the kind of divorce that occurs. Certainly a ‘good” divorce between two mature adults might be better for children than a really bad marriage with much tension (or even violence) in the household every minute of the day?

There is life after divorce and the way the process of divorce unfolds may well set the tone, not just for how the parties interact going forward, but how the children do in school and in life. Children that see two parents who treat each other with respect, even if they are divorced will likely do better than children who see their parents consistently embroiled in arguments and litigation. Those children must, at the least, be very distracted by their parents’ tension. Worse yet, many may feel that they (the children) have a duty to support each parent and to comfort them (or at least one). This must take time away from school work and social development.

So what’s the solution? A “good” divorce (if a divorce is going to happen). The parents must recognize that their tension always trickles down and is felt by, and affects their children. There is an old Jewish saying that the best thing a father can do for a child is to love their mother. Well if he can’t love her, he should at least treat her with respect and pleasantness, and it should go both ways. Not for the parents’ sake, but to allow their children to continue to grow socially and educationally and to not be distracted and held back by their perceived need to be a “cructh” or support system for their parents. Such a feeling of having to help a parent through a divorce can certainly not help a child spend the needed time to excel in school and socially.

I know that I am not a psychologist and that these words and thoughts are just those of a lawyer who has practiced family law for almost a quarter of a century, but I believe them to be true and hope lawyers and litigants consider these issues as they proceed through their family law cases each day.

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Family Law Forms Book!

I am so excited about the new Georgia Library of Family Law Forms.  Last year I was asked to develop and edit this book and it has been a long process.  The attorneys and staff at the firm have been wonderful and we have gone to great lengths to ensure that this book (and CD-ROM) of Family Law Forms will be beneficial to the Family Law Practitioner.  There are over 200 forms and once we begin to receive feedback, I am sure we will add more forms and keep improving it each year with each new edition.

Family Law seems to affect everyone, and almost every practicing lawyer is asked once, if not many times during their career “Can you help me with my family law matter”.  While this forms book does not answer every single question, it does provide a wonderful start to those who are just beginning to practice family law as well as to those who want to have a full library of forms for themselves or their younger associates, paralegals or staff.  I am very proud of it and look forward to your feedback.  The first printing is scheduled for Fall, 2011 and there is an early bird discount for those who “pre-order”.  Let me know what you think (you can click here for more info).

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