ABA meeting informative and rewarding

Posted on August 7, 2011 by Randy Kessler

The Annual American Bar Association meeting, held this year in Toronto, has been quite interesting.  I have gone to meetings for all sorts of committees (Commission on Youth at Risk, and many others) and seminars on all sorts of topics (including gay marriage and the future of marriage and family law).  At a committee breakfast, I learned of a social media initiative to educate parents on how their children may perceive their parents or other’s views on homosexuality.  They have created a video that may go viral (thekidsarelistening.org).

There are also programs on line to help lawyers learn how to represent children including how to interview children located on the website of the Litigation Section of the ABA. This was done by the Litigation Section’s Children’s Rights committee.   

But most importantly, as always, is the camaraderie. Seeing local metropolitan Atlanta judges and lawyers as well as family law attorneys and judges from across the country is very enjoyable for me. We are all here to learn and help and the amount of energy that lawyers are putting into improving our society and our communities is evident.  Lawyers and others rising early and going to working meetings at 7:00 am on a Sunday to address the needs of foster children and child trafficking is really heartwarming.  

I am glad to be an active lawyer and part of something bigger.  Even though the ABA may support various ideas that often generate much discussion and disagreement, it is a peaceful way to effectuate change, and a most valuable endeavor.  

Posted in American Bar Association, Child custody, Custody | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment
 

ABA Annual Meeting special one for me

Posted on July 30, 2011 by Randy Kessler

The 2011 American Bar Association Annual meeting which begins this week in Toronto (click here for a link to the home page for the meeting), holds special meaning for me. On Friday August 5, 2011 I will be sworn in as Chair of the Family Law Section (FLS) of the ABA. I am so honored and excited. The FLS has 10,000 members who are all interested in the practice of family law, whether they are lawyers, judges or law students (over 9,000 are lawyers). Our goal, and mine, is to improve the practice of family law and to minimize the negative impact family law can have on families. My platform will be a continuation of our “Families Matter” project which has the reduction of such an impact on families as its goal.

Practicing family law has been gratifying, knowing that we can and have helped many families. It also can and has been frustrating. When bad results happen to good people, especially to children, it can be devastating. But our job is not to be devastated and depressed, but to persevere and find better solutions. Through the ABA we are working to improve the system and to hopefully help all families achieve better results that are better for the whole family. Of course this is a difficult task, but it is one that any civilized society must undertake. All family law professionals (lawyers, judges, psychologists, accountants and others) play a role. Is our system perfect? No way. In fact, our systems vary from state to state and from community to community. But we are evolving. Today, family law is not an area of the law that is looked down upon. To the contrary, it is an area of the law viewed by many as one of the most important areas of law that exist. What other area has the ability to affect families and futures as much as ours? And with that comes a significant burden, a burden to help families and a burden to improve society.

I am glad to be in a position to help families. In my practice I often have that opportunity, and as Chair of the Family Law Section of the ABA, I have been given an even greater opportunity. I will try my best not to squander it and to do what I can to help families and professionals who are helping those families. If there is anything I can do, I hope you will call on me to serve you. It will be an honor to serve and I am sure, an experience I will never forget.

Posted in American Bar Association, Attorney, Child custody, Custody, Divorce, Family, Family Court, Family Law, Judge, Lawyer, Legal, Prenuptial agreement, same sex marriage | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment
 

Gay Marriage Issues are everywhere, not just NY

Posted on July 26, 2011 by Randy Kessler

I blogged a few days ago about President Obama’s decision to support the repeal of DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) which is the federal law defining marriage as between a man and a woman and stating that states need not respect marriages performed in other states which are between members of the same sex. Now gay marriage is again in the news as New York has passed a law allowing it and this week the first gay marriages in New York have taken place. The local public radio station interviewed me about it and got me thinking (the interview can be heard by clicking here). The expansion of gay marriage to New York increases the likelihood that other states such as Georgia will encounter these issues. There will be gay couples who divorce in New York, legally, and then move to Georgia. Then the dilemma for Georgia courts will be how to treat such valid orders from other states. Under DOMA, Georgia would not have to recognize such an order based on a gay marriage. But if DOMA is overturned by the new “Respect for Marriage” act, then would Georgia be violating the full faith and credit clause of the U.S. Constitution if it did not recognize and enforce a valid “gay divorce”? These are interesting questions and I continue to look forward to them unfolding and how our judiciary and bar work to resolve these issues. The solutions are not easy and the process has obstacles, but our civilized society has handled and overcome much tougher issues. I am confident this one will be resolved with time as well.

Posted in American Bar Association, Attorney, Child custody, Divorce, Family, Family Court, Family Law, High Profile Cases, Judge, Lawyer, Legal, Misc, Visitation, gay marriage, same sex marriage | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment
 

OBAMA to oppose DOMA/Thoughts on Same Sex Divorce

Posted on July 20, 2011 by Randy Kessler

For years the White House has vowed to support the Defense of Marriage Act, and this week President Obama changed course (click here for NY Times article). DOMA (the Defense of Marriage Act) was signed into law fifteen years ago by then President Bill Clinton. It basically is the federal government stepping into family law (which seems to be the trend) and determining, on a federal level, that marriage can only be between a man and a woman and that states do not have to recognize (give full faith and credit) to a marriage between members of the same sex even if the state where they were married allows them to do so legally-see Wikipedia definition of DOMA by clicking here. Most legal scholars (and some state courts) find the law unconstitutional.

But now President Obama has announced that he will support the repeal of this law. This does not mean states have to allow same sex marriage, but it does remove a large obstacle for gay marriage proponents. The legislation President Obama now supports still has yet to pass, but this is a big first step.

Regardless of whether people feel gay marriage should be allowed or not, I think I am a proponent of allowing gay divorce. Not because it generates more business for divorce lawyers; in fact, it will create less business because the process of separating gay couples and dividing their assets and working out visitation arrangements for their children would then be simpler and much less costly. Rather the reason to support allowing gay couples to divorce is that it gives law abiding adults a method to resolve disputes that will arise whether there is gay marriage or not. Throughout time there have been same sex relationships. The real question for me is how we, as an advanced civilization, handle the legal aspects of a separation. If we ignore it and put our heads in the sand, that helps no one. The problems remain, people engage in self help and take what they want, including children and the result is chaos.

I am not sure what the future holds, but it seems that a legal process, whether it is allowing same-sex divorce or whether we term it something else would be a positive step for our society and most importantly for the children of same sex couples.

Posted in Gay Adoption, Judge, Lawyer, Legal, Uncategorized, gay marriage, same sex marriage | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment
 

Celeb Divorce, now J-Lo and Marc Anthony

Posted on July 16, 2011 by Randy Kessler

Our country seems fascinated with the family lives, especially divorces of celebrities. Perhaps that is because we see celebrities as role models or who we often aspire to be. Thus it is interesting to see how famous people act, or react in situations that many of us non-celebrities also face.

The Lopez/Anthony divorce just happens to be the most current celebritiy divorce. What is interesting to me is only that it is so interesting to everyone else. All major news organizations reported on it immediately, even though there was really nothing to report. Perhaps it is that we romanticize our celebrities. We want their marriages to work since they are who we aspire to be?

Celebrities have many issues the average person will never have to face (crazy visitation schedules, nanny issues and significant asset division and/or support payments). But ultimately, celebrities are like anyone else. They get their feelings hurt, they have pride and they sometimes feel a need to “win” almost as if that is an achievement. But most often, they ultimately realize that it is best to put the legal process behind them and to resolve matters. Using lawyers to do their communicating often has its limits and almost always, celebrities figure out what they want to do and then tell their lawyers to “make it so”. They are used to controlling their own destiny and often more confident than the average person in their own decisions. After all, their own decisions got them where they are.

There are also many celebrities who meet with us (divorce lawyers) and never file anything. When they finally do make the decision to seek a divorce, they usually know what they want and are ready to make a deal. It would not surprise me if Jennifer Lopez and Mark Anthony, like many other famous couples, had already investigated the process for a very long time and had a good idea of what the outcome should and would be long before one or both of them made the decision to end the marriage.

And the way they handled it is the way it should be done. A joint statement like they have done letting the world know they are mature enough to handle it privately for the sake of their children is wonderful.

When two wealthy people fight, judges often are more upset. Every day in Family Court, judges see regular people scraping to survive and raise their children every day. It seems Ms. Lopez and Mr. Anthony recognized this and it is admirable that they have resolved matters outside of court. That is how it should always be done, in my opinion and I hope others will follow their example, if they decide to divorce.

Posted in American Bar Association, Attorney, Celebrity Cases, Child custody, Custody, Divorce, Family, Family Court, Family Law, Financial, High Profile Cases, Judge, Lawyer, Legal, alimony | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment
 

ABA Family Law Section CLE set for October in Vegas

Posted on July 11, 2011 by Randy Kessler

While we all look forward to the Annual ABA meeting in Toronto next month, plans have been underway for a while for the Fall Family Law Seminar.

I hope everyone is as excited as I am about the Fall Program which is being held at the Encore (Wynne) Hotel in Las Vegas in October. We have a tremendous line up of topics, including: “Saving a Stolen Childhood: How to Prevent and Resolve International Kidnapping Cases”, “Diminishing Returns: Effects of Illness, Psychological Problems & Addiction on Support Calculations” and “Tax Issues Faced by Alternative Families… A Mystery of Clues!” as well as fun topics like “Mission Impossible — Obtaining Discovery from Casinos”.

The location is amazing; the nicest hotel in Vegas, at an incredibly low rate ($204.00/night). Come join us and bring your family too. It will be a great seminar and a great place to meet fellow family law attorneys. And if there is anything I can do for you, before, during or after the program, please let me know. I look forward to seeing you there.

Posted in American Bar Association, Assited Reproductive Technology, Attorney, Child custody, Custody, Divorce, Family, Family Court, Family Law, Gay Adoption, High Profile Cases, Judge, Lawyer, Legal, Misc, Prenuptial agreement, Visitation, gay marriage, same sex marriage, support | Tagged | Leave a comment
 

GA Supreme Court makes “Pilot Project” for Discretionary Appeals more permanent

Posted on June 21, 2011 by Randy Kessler

The Georgia Supreme Court of Georgia has just changed it’s “pilot project” rule regarding discretionary appeals for domestic relations cases. This process, which has been a “pilot project” for about ten years, is now more formalized. To view the Court’s Order, click here..

The Family Law Review issued a bulletin which summarizes it well (which can be accessed by clicking here). Take a look, and those of you who practice law in Georgia, please review it carefully. Most importantly, let’s be sure we do not abuse this wonderful opportunity the Supreme Court has given us to help clients in need, those who have a meritorious basis for appealing. The court has entrusted us with discretion to not overwhelm the Court with non-meritorious appeals. Let’s oblige.

Posted in Attorney, Child custody, Custody, Divorce, Family, Family Court, High Profile Cases, Judge, Lawyer, Legal, alimony | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment
 

NACVA seminar

Posted on June 12, 2011 by Randy Kessler

Today I leave San Diego after five days participating in and observing how business valuation experts learn the ins and outs of litigation. There were over 700 attendees at what is known as NACVA and the IBA’s Annual Consultants’ Conference. On the first day I presented on hot topics in family law. But it is what I did on the final day, Saturday, that was the most educational for me. I played the role of judge in a mock trial played out before over 200 attendees and then participated in a panel discussion, AFTER we got to observe, via closed circuit tv, the jury deliberations. What a learning experience. The perspective of being the judge and then vicariously participating in jury deliberations was extraordinary. It helped me recognize how crucial each piece of evidence is, particularly the testimony of experts.

When I am not the lawyer in the case, like during this exercise, I am able to get a clearer picture of the entire environment. This type of exercise, very similar to the ones we do at the American Bar Association, Family Law Section’s Trial Advocacy Institute can be invaluable for a practicing trial lawyer. I was lucky enough to be invited to help teach, but I actually learned much, much more than I taught.

Thank you to NACVA (National Association of Certified Valuation Analysts). I hope trial lawyers and expert witnesses can keep learning together. We certainly help make each other better.

20110612-073943.jpg

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment
 

Do children of divorce suffer poorer grades?

Posted on June 4, 2011 by Randy Kessler

National TV Network news agencies are working on stories based on reports that children of divorce fare worse in school than others. USA Today just printed a story about poorer math scores for children of divorce (click here for the link).

As a divorce lawyer this concerns me greatly. My opinion, based purely on my experience and the experience of the other lawyers in our office and friends throughout the bar, is that it is not necessarily the divorce that can harm children, as much as the kind of divorce that occurs. Certainly a ‘good” divorce between two mature adults might be better for children than a really bad marriage with much tension (or even violence) in the household every minute of the day?

There is life after divorce and the way the process of divorce unfolds may well set the tone, not just for how the parties interact going forward, but how the children do in school and in life. Children that see two parents who treat each other with respect, even if they are divorced will likely do better than children who see their parents consistently embroiled in arguments and litigation. Those children must, at the least, be very distracted by their parents’ tension. Worse yet, many may feel that they (the children) have a duty to support each parent and to comfort them (or at least one). This must take time away from school work and social development.

So what’s the solution? A “good” divorce (if a divorce is going to happen). The parents must recognize that their tension always trickles down and is felt by, and affects their children. There is an old Jewish saying that the best thing a father can do for a child is to love their mother. Well if he can’t love her, he should at least treat her with respect and pleasantness, and it should go both ways. Not for the parents’ sake, but to allow their children to continue to grow socially and educationally and to not be distracted and held back by their perceived need to be a “cructh” or support system for their parents. Such a feeling of having to help a parent through a divorce can certainly not help a child spend the needed time to excel in school and socially.

I know that I am not a psychologist and that these words and thoughts are just those of a lawyer who has practiced family law for almost a quarter of a century, but I believe them to be true and hope lawyers and litigants consider these issues as they proceed through their family law cases each day.

Posted in American Bar Association, Attorney, Child custody, Custody, Divorce, Family, Family Court, Family Law, Financial, Judge, Lawyer, Legal | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment
 

Family Law Forms Book!

Posted on June 2, 2011 by Randy Kessler

I am so excited about the new Georgia Library of Family Law Forms.  Last year I was asked to develop and edit this book and it has been a long process.  The attorneys and staff at the firm have been wonderful and we have gone to great lengths to ensure that this book (and CD-ROM) of Family Law Forms will be beneficial to the Family Law Practitioner.  There are over 200 forms and once we begin to receive feedback, I am sure we will add more forms and keep improving it each year with each new edition.

Family Law seems to affect everyone, and almost every practicing lawyer is asked once, if not many times during their career “Can you help me with my family law matter”.  While this forms book does not answer every single question, it does provide a wonderful start to those who are just beginning to practice family law as well as to those who want to have a full library of forms for themselves or their younger associates, paralegals or staff.  I am very proud of it and look forward to your feedback.  The first printing is scheduled for Fall, 2011 and there is an early bird discount for those who “pre-order”.  Let me know what you think (you can click here for more info).

Posted in American Bar Association, Attorney, Divorce, Family, Family Court, Family Law, Judge, Lawyer, Legal, Prenuptial agreement, Uncategorized, Visitation, alimony | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment
 

GA Family Law Institute a Success

Posted on May 29, 2011 by Randy Kessler

The annual Georgia Family Law Institute just ended. I am relieved and sad (that it is over). As Chair of the Institute, it was my job to plan the three day program. I think it was well received and I know I learned a lot. Each morning about fifteen Georgia judges presented sample opening statements or closing arguments. Some were emotional pleas for relief, others were straight, to the point outlines of the facts and relief sought while yet others made great use of humor to drive home what should, and perhaps more importantly what should not be done. The overriding theme, as one judge put it, was to follow the advice of The Spice Girls and “Tell me what you want, what you really, really want”.

There were other great speakers including Patricia Apy educating us about International Custody Issues (she was the successful lawyer in the Brazil custody case), John Mayoue discussing the status of DOMA and gay marriage and Mark Sullivan who wrote the book on military divorce. All in all it was a great weekend for the approximately 500 lawyers and judges who came. In fact, it was wonderful. I can’t wait for next year’s Institute.

Posted in Family Law | Leave a comment
 

Family Law Institute for the Georgia Bar

Posted on May 24, 2011 by Randy Kessler

The annual Georgia Family Law Institute starts this week in Amelia Island, Florida. Over 450 lawyers and judges are planning to come learn about family law, the new trends, cutting edge issues and practical ideas and solutions for family law matters. The agenda is filled with these types of issues and can be seen by clicking on the following link: FLI 11 Blasted Brochure

It is an exciting event. There are over forty judges coming as well as many family law experts from across the country to speak on issues such as military divorce and international custody. It is no too late for lawyers and judges to register. We expect a total of 500 people so come join the fun. If you want to come, sign up using the brochure linked here: FLI 11 Blasted Brochure I hope to see you there.

Posted in Attorney, Child custody, Custody, Divorce, Family, Family Court, Family Law, Judge, Lawyer, Legal, Uncategorized, gay marriage | Leave a comment
 

Double Dipping in a Divorce

Posted on May 2, 2011 by Randy Kessler

There is a concept that divorce lawyers are very familiar with: “Double Dipping”. A simplistic explanation is that in a divorce, sometimes an asset like a business is valued and divided, but then the income from that asset is used to calculate and pay child support or alimony. Is this fair? There are multiple arguments. One argument is that to pay the spouse his or her share, it would be as if the payor is making a hypothetical sale of the asset and paying the other spouse. In such a “hypothetical” sale, there would be no more asset to use to calculate or pay child support or alimony.

But here’s the big news (at least to family law attorneys): California is considering passing legislation to avoid this dilemma. Here is the text of the proposed legislation:

(n) The extent to which income for support was already capitalized
and paid to the other spouse in the division of community property,
to avoid double counting the income when the result would be
inequitable, based on all of the circumstances presented.

Whether one agrees with this bill or not, at least it will, if passed, give the California courts guidance in thsi area. Hopefully other states will follow this example.

Posted in Attorney, Divorce, Family, Family Court, Family Law, Financial, Judge, Lawyer, Legal, support | Leave a comment
 

Prenups are not romantic, especially for the Prince and Princess

Posted on May 1, 2011 by Randy Kessler

There is no question that a Prenuptial Agreement is unromantic (although I have heard of a man getting down on one knee to offer a prenup to his fiance’). Whatever the reason a prenup may be desired (a bad first marriage and expensive first divorce, for instance), asking your intended to sign a prenuptial agreement is very unromantic. But then again, many things about marriage are unromantic. The decisions about the wedding, for instance, are often a struggle between the desire for the most beautiful, exotic wedding in the world versus the finances available. Or whether to even have a big wedding and invite everyone, or save the money for a first marital home? Even the question of who to invite to the wedding can be very unromantic and often the cause for dissention. Should a relative who has been unfriendly to the fiance’ be invited? Do step-parents walk down the aisle? So the issue of whether or not to sign a prenuptial agreement is not the only practical question an engaged couple faces. But it may be the most troubling. After all, isn’t the request to sign a prenuptial agreement bascially a nice way of saying I don’t trust you one hundred percent? Or at least, maybe it is a way of saying I don’t trust me, or us, one hundred percent. Either way it casts doubt on a couple’s certain belief that their marriage will last forever.

But many, about half of all marriages don’t last forever. And what really should be avoided is a contested divorce. And that is the one true potential benefit of a prenuptial agreement. It can avoid, or at least reduce litigation and the related costs.

So the issue of whether or not to execute a prenuptial agreement is a balance bewteen practicaity and romance. And for a couple being looked upon these days as the epitomy of romance, the Prince William and his bride, Kate, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, it is understandable why apparently no prenuptial agreemen was signed (click here for press coverage of that issue). It is understandable why they may have opted for romance, but even so, it was a required consideration, and likely that the question at least caused the Prince to consider it. There is nothing wrong with weighing options, even if only for a millisecond, especially for a future leader (at least a future figurehead leader) of his country. But for a fairytell wedding, it seems a prenuptial agreement just would not have fit the storyline. And they are not the only ones to feel that way. These questions and emotions are not unique to British Royalty. In my practice I have seen this exact dilemma often, and can never predict whether a prenuptial agreement will actually be signed. But the process is intriguing and one of the most human endeavors I have the opportunity to witness from time to time.

Posted in Family, Family Court, Family Law, Financial, High Profile Cases, Lawyer, Prenuptial agreement | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment
 

New law-Custody for Military Families

Posted on April 16, 2011 by Randy Kessler

A new law was enacted this week in the Georgia Legislature. It grants certain protections to military personnel in their custody and visitation disputes. An AJC article outlines it well (click here for the article). The bill was passed with overwhelming support and prevents final orders changing custody to be entered simply because a parent is deployed. A draft of the proposed Act can be accessed by clicking here.

For years advocates for military personnel have complained that armed services members were often penalized for simply serving our country. The delicate balance is between rights of those serving our country and the best interests of children. No answer will be perfect for every situation, but this bill was drafted, considered, reviewed, debated and finally passed. No law is perfect, but hopefully this law will help military families and their children, and hopefully does not reduce the emphasis that must always be placed on ensuring that we do what is in the best interests of the child.

Posted in Assited Reproductive Technology, Child custody, Custody, Judge, Lawyer, Legal, Visitation | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment
 

ABA Family Law Section meeting starts in Amelia Island

Posted on April 5, 2011 by Randy Kessler

It is always exciting to get together with fellow practitioners and judges from across the country to learn the latest trends, practices and innovative ideas of our profession. This year, our Spring seminar will focus on “Families Matter”. The seminar is from April 6, 2011 to April 9, 2011 and will devote much time to helping alleviate much of the pain, cost and discomfort of family law matters (click here for the full brochure). The agenda is great (click here to link to the home page for the program).

There are many cutting edge topics, such as “Oh, the Tangled Web We Weave: irs rules and regulations Effect on payments and Expenses in Third party reproduction” and “The alphabet soup of Military pay and Family support”. If you are a family law practitioner, I strongly urge you to consider joining us. And if you can’t make this one, join us in late October in Las Vegas at the Wynne-Encore and then next April at the Eden Roc in South Beach (Miami Beach), Florida. I look forward to learning and blogging what I learn.

Posted in American Bar Association, Assited Reproductive Technology, Attorney, Custody, Divorce, Family, Family Court, Family Law, Gay Adoption, Judge, Lawyer, Legal, Uncategorized, assisted reproductive technology, gay marriage, same sex marriage | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment
 

NFL Lockout and child support continued

Posted on March 31, 2011 by Randy Kessler

What will happen if the NFL Lockout continues? What happens to pending child support cases involving NFL players? What happens to the players who are paying thousands for child support but now have little or no income? Time will tell, but it is my guess that the longer it drags on, the more likely it will be that there will be child support reductions, significant reductions.

Awards based on earnings of several million dollars per year must now be adjusted to reflect earnings of a few thousand dollars per year. Is it worth it to a player to seek a reduction today? Maybe, but as the Lockout continues and the income remains at zero or close, players will have to reduce their expenses, including child support. Will the courts concur? Only time will tell, but the longer it goes, the longer players remain unemployed, the more likely it is that they will see their child support obligations reduced, in my opinion.

Posted in Celebrity Cases, Family, Family Court, Family Law, High Profile Cases, support | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment
 

“Civil Gideon”

Posted on March 25, 2011 by Randy Kessler

The ABA has long pursued the concept of “Civil Gideon” which, loosely defined, means the right to a lawyer in civil cases (Gideon v. Wainwright was, of course, the case that guaranteed the right to counsel for criminal defendants). At the ABA Annual meeting in San Francisco in August, 2010, the resolution passed (click for related article). The resolution can be accessed by clicking this sentence.

This week the Fulton County Daily Report published an article about a lawsuit in Georgia which attempts to guarantee the right to counsel for certain civil defendants, particularly those at risk of incarceration for failue to pay child support (click to read article).

What a dilemma? While states such as Georgia are struggling to find funding to provide lawyers for defendants in criminal cases, there are now lawsuits being filed, such as the one referenced above, to require funding for lawyers for defendants in civil cases. The goal is noble and well intentioned, but the potential pitfalls are numerous. For instance, why should only the defendant receive such assistance? Perhaps the plaintiff who may be filing to receive support is even more worthy of the public’s assistance?

The beauty of America is that we can have this debate. While aspirational goals are great, when there is only so much funding available, sometimes aspirations must yield to practicality. It will be interesting to see where this case goes.

Posted in American Bar Association, Divorce, Family, Family Court, Family Law, Judge, Lawyer, alimony, support | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment
 

Facebook and Divorce discussed in WSJ

Posted on March 12, 2011 by Randy Kessler

The Wall Street Journal had an interesting piece about Facebook and Divorce today. It was written by Carl Bialik, “The Numbers Guy” (click here for a link to his blog and to the article). Feel free to read the article, which focuses on the issue, but it really just scratches the surface. Facebook cannot “cause” a divorce any more than a plane can “cause” a crash. People initiate, respond and act. Facebook may facilitate things. Facebook may create introductions, or re-introductions to former friends (or to friends of friends). But human beings are the actors, not Facebook.

Yes, as divorce lawyers we see Facebook arise in all sorts of ways. It sometimes provides a vehicle to gather evidence (photos of a spouse kissing a paramour or vacationing in Florida while the other spouse thinks they are in Boise?). But even before Facebook, the internet did the same thing, but perhaps not so easily. There were emails, Chat Rooms, Dating Sites and even “Histories” (a list of recent websites visited by a computer user). But as a divorce lawyer who has practiced family law since before the Internet, I don’t think human nature has changed, or been changed by Facebook. Human beings seek happiness. Sometimes they find it in a good book or movie. Sometimes in alcohol, sometimes in a lover, and hopefully, in the best case scenario, they simply find happiness in themselves and their loved ones.

No, Facebook doesn’t “cause” divorce. But can it provide opportuities, connections and introductions? Sure. But so can other avenues. The difference is that Facebook feels safe, innocent. Typing from your home is much easier and less aggressive than going out to meet people, especially if the intent is to meet someone to be unfaithful with.

Cheaters will find a way to cheat, facebook or no Facebook. But there are folks who may not otherwise cheat. Perhaps they didn’t have the courage to flirt? Perhaps they had no way to meet people (they may live in a remote area)? Perhaps they are just shy? Facebook (and really the internet) eliminates these obstacles.

So what can be done? Nothing. It is really the same dilemma that has been around foryears. Do spouses trust each other? In the past it may have been do you trust your spouse to work late, especially if there is someone at work to whom he or she may be attracted? It all comes down to love and fidelity. Some people just have it. And they are the lucky ones.

Posted in Attorney, Discovery, Divorce, Family, Family Court, Family Law, Judge, Lawyer, Legal, Misc, Technology, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment
 

NFL Lockout and child support

Posted on March 3, 2011 by Randy Kessler

So the NFL Lockout may begin at midnight (see story by clicking here)? What does that mean for players who pay child support (and mothers who receive child support)? In the short term, it probably doesn’t mean much. But if the lockout lasts a while, there could be some real child support consequences. The first obvious consequence is that players may not have the cash flow to remain current on their child support obligations. Hopefully they choose correctly and pay child support before some of their other ongoing expenses (car payments, etc.). Not only should child support be at the top of the list, judges who have the power to incarcerate child support obligors may be much less sympathetic to the NFL player who was paid millions and did not save for this “rainy day”.

The next concern is litigation, two types. The first type of cases that will be brought may be the ones seeking to enforce court orders against those who have stopped or slowed their payments. The second is the actions to be filed by players to seek a reduction (temporary or permanent) of their support obligations. While courts may or may not be sympathetic, such lawsuits at least show the court that the player is not ignoring the obligation, but instead is trying to make it reflect his current financial situation. Of course lawsuits cost money so before a player files, he must feel that the work stoppage will not be short-lived.

The third, and best course of action, is for players and the women to whom they pay support, get together and reach agreements. In this way, there could be an agreed upon temporary reduction. If the player is ultimately reimbursed the full salary, then child support would be fully reimbursed. Or once the situation is resolved, there could be renewed discussions and possible agreements prior to running to court. Of course, if there is no season, players should have (and spend) more time with their children. This can also be agreed upon instead of litigated.

But the best suggestion is communication. Child support obligors and recipients should always communicate. Communication, good, effective communication is almost always the best first step to resolution. It’s what we encourage at KSS Family Law, and what we hope all attorneys, advisors and counselors do.

Posted in Attorney, Celebrity Cases, Divorce, Family, Family Court, Family Law, High Profile Cases, Judge, Lawyer, Legal, support | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment